Tooth Fairy

If you want to find out how many questions a 3 year old can ask before you run out of answers, try telling them about the Tooth Fairy!

This is our conversation over the span of 30 minutes, with long pauses in between.

Jack: "WHAT???? I thought the Toof Fairy was supposed to come today?"

Me: "No, she comes tonight when you guys are sleeping."

Jack: "But wait, how does she get here?"

Nate: "Mom the tooth fairy doesn't have bones. They only have arms and legs and bodies like us, but they have to go through walls so they don't have blood, right? Right mom?"

Me: "Right"

Jack: "Who is the Toof Fairy? Dr. Niki? "

Me: "No Jack, It's not Dr. Niki, she's a fairy."

Jack:"Is she a nurse?"

Me: "No she's a fairy."

Jack: "Does the Toof Fairy have a scary face?"

Me: "No, she's really friendly."

Jack: "Oh, and the Toof Fairy doesn't have a penis or butt, right mom?"

Me: "Right, no penis and no butt. Once again, she's a fairy."

Jack: "What if the Tooth Fairy doesn't like me?"

Me: "Of course she will, and don't worry, she's not there to see you anyway. She's there to get a tooth and then she leaves. She comes in quickly like a hummingbird, and no one sees her. She's tiny."

Nate: "How do you know?"

Me: "I've seen a picture of her."

Jack:  "But the Toof fairy is going to wake up me. I want to sleep in your bed."

Me: "Don't worry Jack, she won't wake you. She doesn't wake anybody."

Jack: "So she takes Nate's tooth, and then brings him  a new tooth right? Because I saw new teeth at the Dentist." ( He's referring to the fake teeth they use to show kids how to brush.)

Me: "No, she brings money, not teeth."

Jack: "But where does the Tooth Fairy live mom? In a Pipeline? "
(How am I supposed to answer this one?)

Me: "Maybe."

Jack: "I don't want the Toof Fairy to break the front door."

Me: "Don't worry she doesn't break down doors."

Jack: "Maybe she will take a shovel and smash it into the window."

Me: She's too small, she can't pick up a shovel, and she's not evil"

Jack: "How does she get here?"(I think I heard this question already.)

Me:  "I'm not sure how she gets in. Probably through cracks in windows, or through walls, like Nate said."

Then Jack proceeds to go to the window and says, "HELLO Toof fairy...Are you out there?

It's going to be a long night!