No Excuses!

President's day, aka the start of ski week here in Northern CA. An entire week off for the kids, with just one measly day for the parents. 

We had plans to take the kids to the snow, but mother nature stepped in. A series of strong storms closed the roads for days making travel impossible, so we scrapped our plans and figured we would do something better.....which we haven't figured out yet. 

I'm still in my New Year's resolution mode, which means I organize, and exercise until the end of February. And if you haven't noticed, I typically start writing in my blog and tell everybody this is the year I'll do it more.  I think it's only fitting to quote George Washington today, "“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one." And to quote my husband, "The key is to never stop trying." So between George and Doug I now feel exonerated. I've let go of my failed resolution guilt, and I'm back in the game. 

When i started this blog 9 years ago, my focus was on how to manage life with 2 rambunctious boys. Boy, literally, how far we have come. Nate is now 13, Jack is 10, and Brooke, our pink addition will be 8 in just 2 short months. 

I've grown too, a little older and wider, I mean wiser. Even though this is the busiest time in my life between work, the kid's activities, school volunteering and managing our household, somehow I also feel somewhat balanced. So this year, I'll shift the focus of my blog on what I've learned along the way, what keeps me sane, and how I'm managing it all!

Here's to 2019 - No excuses, just changes! 

Priorities

It's been 14 months since my last blog post. I'm often asked, how do you do it all? Well the short answer is, I don't. I simply have to prioritize on a daily basis. Unfortunately, this blog hasn't made it to my top 10 list.

This is my current list. It's in no particular order of importance.

• Work
• Grocery Shop
• Exercise
• Spend time with Doug
• Homework/Read with Jack
• Homework/Read with Brooke
• Spend time with Nate
• Attend kid's sports
• Talk to family
• Spend time with friends
• Coach soccer

In the context of a 60 hour week this is the % of time I spend on each. I've never looked at it from this angle, but it's helpful to understand where I spend my time, in order to determine where I "should" spend my time. 

Goals: Increase the size of the orange Exercise slice to look more like the bright green slice. I will also try to add a slice that says, Write in my blog.....more than once a year. 

If you've never put your priorities into a pie chart, I highly suggest it. Where do you spend your time, vs. where do you want to spend your time?

Glamping

Four years ago we got a new tent. Last night we used it......for the first time.
I took two weeks off of work, one as a "staycation" and the other for Tahoe.
I had two goals for the "staycation" - 1. Take kids swimming everyday 2. Relax
So far I have accomplished goal #1.
Wednesday was planned as our backyard camp out night. Here's how it went down.
Nathan made me secure all the stakes and the ropes so the tent wouldn't blow away in a storm.
He also brought a chair, a laptop, 3 flashlights and a down jacket.
Jack showed up after all the work was done, claiming he only wanted to see the finished product.
Brooke brought her Hello Kitty sleeping bag along with her wooden doll bunkbed and a baby. She brought two flashlights. One that Jack demanded was his, and the other that didn't have batteries.
Jack wanted all the windows zipped up, while Nate wanted them open.
Brooke wanted to tell ghost stories. She told the one of Hello Kitty and the Princess who met a monster near the rainbow who threatened to make them sleep forever.  (I'm sure you've heard it.)
At some point the wrestling got out of control. I stepped out of the tent, and the next thing I knew Nate was moving out. Out came the chair, the laptop, his sleeping bag, pillow and the three flashlights. He was limping and blaming his sister for breaking his foot.
After s'mores, everybody was in better spirits. Probably because we used chocolate chip cookies in replace of graham crackers.
Jack begged Nate to move back in. Thankfully he didn't bring the house with him but he was wearing his ski jacket. He claimed it was getting chilly. Outside temp - 73.
Around 3AM I realized the ground was really hard.
Around 5AM the sprinklers came on. I thought they were set for Friday. I was wrong.
Nate woke up worried about the water, Brooke woke up because Nate was shouting, and Jack slept through the entire thing.
We officially broke in the tent and covered every emotion along the way....except for "Relaxation". See Goal #2. I'm hoping that comes next week when we are in Tahoe!

Pre-Injury

Note the doll bed - the only person relaxing was the baby

Brooke thought it was the greatest adventure

Cleaning Out My Closet

There are moments in your life that are fleeting, and then there are the moments when memories are made. Try to recall a moment in your life that changed you, I bet you can remember what you were wearing. When choosing an outfit, sometimes you realize you are dressing for a special occasion, but often you throw on something without realizing it may remain with you forever. Whether it was the funniest night of your life, or a tragic event that changed your future, the clothes you wore on that day are ingrained in your memories.

Today I cleaned out my closet. I used the rule of thumb, "If you haven't worn it in a year, it must go." As I sifted through the hangars, I pulled out hideous mistakes, along with too big, too small and too outdated to ever wear again. I also pulled out memories.

I pulled out the denim dress I wore home from the hospital when Nathan was born. I was under the impression that once you had a baby, you could fit into anything. It did fit, but my boobs did NOT. I remember the homecoming pictures with my beautiful baby, a very happy mommy and two large boobs hanging on for dear life. (Doug took the picture, I think the zoom feature was on.)

I pulled out a dark green blouse that I wore on my first girls weekend with my best friends from college. A tradition we've kept going that means the world to me. To reconnect with people who truly know you, is incredibly rejuvenating.

I pulled out a suit I wore to a job interview on 9/11. I was desperate for work after being laid off in L.A. I hated the job with every ounce in my body, but stuck with it until I found something better. The suit represented a day in history nobody will ever forget. It also reminds me of an important lesson. You are in control of your happiness. If you don't like something about your life, make a change.

I pulled out a dress I wore to a funeral of a very brave woman who lost her battle to Cancer. She had so much more life to live. The dress is much more than a very sad day, but a memory of a woman who showed others how to live a life filled with courage and kindness.

Finally I pulled out a dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner. A night filled with so many happy toasts, friends, and family. It was the start of the next ten years, and yet, I had no idea how good it would become. It was a moment in my life, in a strapless black dress with a fuchsia bow.

It turns out I didn't clean out my closet today, I took a trip down memory lane.

When you look in your closet tomorrow and think you have nothing to wear, take a second look at the clothes hanging in the back. They may remind you of a time in your life that changed you forever!

2015 - Move the Rowing Machine

This is the year! The year we start living without clutter! Living in a house where all things have a place, and I'm not constantly worried about being buried alive under Legos.

I want to turn on the fire place this year without having to worry about melting the toys set haphazardly in front of it.

I want to sit in my living room and not stare at my husband's rowing machine situated under the mantle. (The one that he promised he needed because he would use it every day!)

I want to open the upstairs closet to find a gift bag without shoving back a roll of tape, a balancing act of books and a few photo albums from 2004.

I could go on for days with all my wishes for 2015, but I'll keep it simple.

This is the year that I want to live in a house that I don't have to clean before people come over! I know that's a tall task for a family of 5, but we can do it! (It's a new year, I'm overly optimistic!)

I found a book titled, "It's All Too Much", by Peter Walsh. He's a professional organizer from the show Clean Sweep. It says the Master Bedroom is the most important room in the house. (I must start there.) It's where the parents find peace and calm, and set the mood for all relationships in the house.

The first step is to picture the Master Bedroom that you would want to live in. I tried that. It turns out it's the hotel room at the Rosewood. Since we can't move in, I'm going to recreate it!

I love the book so far. It's given a few very helpful tips.

1. If you haven't used it in 12 months. Get rid of it! Trash, donate, or give back to the original owner.
2. Decide the purpose of a specific room. Does each item in that room fit the purpose? If not, get rid of it.
3. Take 10 minutes every day to go through one area in your house. De-clutter! Get everybody onboard. (This might be an issue.)

A few year's back I was racing for an airplane in Boston. I was carrying my suitcase and running through the terminal. I realized I was out of shape, but really needed to make my plane. At that moment I made a change in my life. I set out to run a 1/2 marathon. Not because the 1/2 marathon sounded exciting, but I needed a goal to help me train. I joke that I keep in shape to prepare for an emergency, like running for an airplane.

The same is true for anything in life. Why wait? Start the change you want to happen now. 2015 is the year we dig out of Legos, and move the rowing machine!

Toys R Us is closed!

Imagine arriving at Toys R Us on Christmas Eve at 9:10PM, with not a single present purchased, only to find the doors locked!

That is a true desperate moment. What would you do?

December 2014 was the year that Mom caught pneumonia.....and Dad did the shopping!

Luckily I had Hanukkah covered in November, but I was planning on Christmas shopping in mid December. While sick in bed for over 2 weeks, Doug volunteered to take care of Christmas. His exact words, "It will be fun, don't worry about a thing. I love shopping on Christmas Eve."

So when the kids went to bed, Doug set out for his definition of "fun". When he arrived at Toys R Us,  he quickly found the store closed at 9:00PM.

He had two options.
1. Answer some VERY tough questions on Christmas morning.
or
2. Sneak in the exit door!

While one of the last customers was checking out, he snuck in the exit door and made a mad dash as if he were on a game show shopping spree. I only wish he had his Go Pro hooked up to the shopping cart. This post could be exponentially more entertaining.

He arrived at the checkout to find not a "creature was stirring" not even a cashier. After begging someone to take pity on him, he was able to purchase his cart full of Legos. He claims it's the only aisle he could make it to.

Hey beggars can't be choosers. I'm just happy he snuck in the exit door!

Merry Christmas to all the Santa's that are making it happen!

The Label Maker and The Secret Keeper

It's the first night of Hanukkah! The night when we kickoff 8 straight days of pure goodness.  It's amazing how fast three kids turn into perfect little angels when a single present is held before them.

Here's a quick recap on the days leading up to the big event!

Last Thursday: I finally finished shopping for all the presents. Now the task was wrapping and hiding them. My closet was too stuffed so I stashed a few under my bed. Brilliant, nobody goes under there!

Last Friday:  Jack got a juggling kit!  As if he needed another excuse to throw balls in the air. While perfecting his juggling act a ball happened to roll under my bed. What happened next? The juggler now resembles the Cheshire Cat. A little taller and a bit more proud of his secret. He walks around the house saying, "I may or may not be getting the Lego Mine Set."

Of course it's not a brotherhood unless you let your siblings know, that you know, what they are getting. Now all  three are pretending they don't "know" their gifts.

In an unrelated event on Friday - Nathan received a label maker......the gift that keeps on giving! If you are looking for that perfect holiday gift for your Type A, highly organized 9 year old, it's perfect!

As only Nate can do, he took it up a notch. It was too obvious to label items for what they are. He decided to start labeling everything with numbers. If I don't know what something is, I will now need to refer to a master key with their descriptions.

In case you are in need of a big black flashlight, please refer to item #2.

My biggest fear now is not losing my mind, it is losing the master key!

Happy 1^st Night of Hanukkah

Stereotypes

Sugar and Spice vs. Snips and Snails 

As a new parent, I remember hoping that my son would be a little different. He would not only loves sports, but could also appreciate a good musical. He would climb every tree but could play the piano or paint a masterpiece. After two boys and a reality check later we had a girl!  I remember thinking, I hope she's not too girly and she still loves sports. I wanted her to be a little tough to stick up for herself, but still be sweet and sensitive. I learned very quickly that no matter what I had hoped for, they each had their own plan.
Yesterday we played a game at lunch asking the question, What is one unique quality about each of you we could put in a yearbook. Example: "The person is most likely to".... Here were the group nominations said about each other.

• Nate is "Most likely to clean up a room better than any cleaning guy could."
• Jack is "Most likely to build the best military fortress inside a house."
• Brooke is "Most likely to not eat an entire meal." 

Nate not only loves sports, he's good at them. He is a super cleaner and a type A personality. He's organized, would keep his room in perfect shape if it weren't for his Type B brother. He's turning into more of a boy everyday, ie sweaty and makes disgusting noises that only Jack thinks are funny. He is talented in art and math, and has some pretty good hip hop dance moves. He likes to run 5K races, and is better than me. He likes to think he's in control of his siblings, and is the happiest when he's on vacation with our family. 

Jack on the other hand is the exact opposite of organized, although he's extremely creative, and could be considered a master builder....and destroyer. He's terrific at sports, but couldn't care less if we got rid of dressers or hampers. Neither of which he uses. He was born with a silver shovel in his hand, and would dig to China if we let him. He thinks anything Nate does is hilarious, and has the loudest belly laugh. He's ultra sensitive and will tear up when he watches a sad movie. He would never change his clothes or his underwear unless somebody told him to, but he sure does clean up well! He is the happiest when you tell him it's Saturday and he has NOTHING to do! 

Brooke's favorite color is pink. She picked that on her own, along with every other piece of clothing she wears. She's opinionated, but really funny. She starts her day with a smile, and ends it with wet pants. We may need to revise her statement to be, "Most likely to still need potty training in 7th grade." If she sees a princess dress, she'll make a beeline to the clothing rack, and loves anything tacky. She gives the greatest hugs and definitely speaks her mind. She LOVES her brothers and calls them, "My boys". She could live on brown rice with soy sauce, strawberry fruit squeezes and a side of orange juice. Her big brown eyes make us all melt and none of the boys can say NO to her. Mommy has to be the bad "guy". She uses dominoes or anything small and rectangular to pretend it's a cell phone. She calls her "friends" and talks quietly for at least 20 minutes. She is the happiest when she's in a sand box, or when we are reading 10+ books together. 

Even though I had my own expectations of what I wanted my children to be, they have far surpassed anything I could have imagined. They are each so unique that it would have been hard to place them in a generic category. I think the poem should read, "What are children made of? Sugar and spice, everything nice AND snips and snails and puppy dog tails. My guess is that most children have a nice combination all all over the above.

Here's to the next decade

Turning 40 

As I reflect on the last decade I realize it's difficult to remember the details. It's been the busiest 10 years of my life, yet one of the most enlightening.
Sure...my 20's were busy going to parties, attending classes, getting my first job, going to more parties and watching countless hours of Lifetime . I guess that was "busy" to a 20 year old.

Little did I know when I blew out 30 candles in '04, that I should have wished for three things.

1. Patience
2. Friendships
3. Sleep

Patience for marriage, children, a career, and the countless demands on my time. Patience with my self in accepting these things take practice and every day is a lesson learned. (Patience to not explode when a five year old overflows the toilet for the third time in one day.)

Friendships - Don't put off making time for the friendships in your life that you cherish the most. Death doesn't just happen to old people. If you love your friends, make sure to tell them, even if it's a simple text message. The moment you realize you can't get time back, it's too late. The 30's are complicated. Having children changes your priorities and the time you have to give to other's is limited. Make sure to cherish that time and give it to the people you love most. You'll never regret creating more memories.  The past 10 years have been spent building a family and a marriage, and I wouldn't change that for the world. I only wish I had more time to nurture my existing friendships, and build on new ones. I find that spending time with friends is so rewarding. There is nothing like a good laugh, a terrific bitch session, and advice from new and old friends to help you navigate new waters.

Finally, I don't need to explain why I would have wished for more sleep. If you have kids you know. I do admit though, I feel better prepared for a natural disaster. I think having kids and sleep deprivation is great training for when we have to live on emergency supplies, make life changing decisions, or sleep on a hard floor in the wilderness. (Maybe that's a stretch.)

So bring on the 40's. I now have sleep, so watch out world. I'm working on patience, friendships and my next three wishes.....

Tiered Pricing

Last week I attended my first private magic show.
When I arrived home from work the boys were busy setting up.
Soon after dinner they bolted upstairs to get ready for the 6 o'clock show.
In hindsight I guess it was more of a dinner theater, without the two drink minimum.
Brooke and I were their first guests.
We arrived at the top of the stairs to see a sign with an arrow pointing to the right. CHECK-IN
We walked over to the box office (literally a cardboard box), to find Nate sitting behind the makeshift check-in desk. On the desk was a price sheet and a sign-in form. I had two options for tickets, either $1 or $10. Their tiered pricing seemed to be missing a level. Thankfully children under 3 were free.
We were handed a ticket and directed to the theater. Our greeter was Jack who collected our ticket and brought us to our seats.
I looked in their room to find every chair we own set up classroom style, three rows deep.
We of course wanted to sit in the front row to be closer to the action.
This is when our greeter also turned into our bouncer.
"The front row is for our $10 guests! Your seats are in the back row... the dollar seats."
So as Brooke and settled into the back row of an EMPTY theater I thought to myself.......their daddy would be proud!
Capitalism at it's best from a soon to be 8 year old and his lovely assistant.

Family Firsts

I wasn't anticipating such a fun first week of Summer. In fact, I sort of dread Summer, minus the family vacations and a break from homework. I'm of the opinion that school keeps kids out of trouble, and without an organized schedule, they start to kill each other....literally kill each other.

I've heard of those Mom's who are excited to have their kids home with them all day, and as much as I love my kids, I have to wonder....are their kids different than mine? They must have the kind that love quiet puzzles, and whisper around the house. Or maybe they have the kind that love sharing a room, and rock each other to sleep.
I have the kind that scream from the top bunk, "Moooom, can you turn the light off, I can't sleep, while the bottom bunk crys, "But Moooom, it's not FAIR....I can't sleep without a light!" And so on and so on......

Before I digress too far, I was trying to highlight the fun parts of the week. It was filled with firsts, and made me appreciate all the exciting times ahead for our family of 5.

We had our first family trip to a Giant's game...in the Coupons.com suite. Unfortunately we will never be able to bring the kids to another run of the mill game again. Once you experience the suite, you never want to go back to bleachers, let alone Club level.

On Sunday we made a spontaneous decision to take everyone to the movies. It was Brooke's first time. We saw Monsters University, and Brooke made it through the entire movie. It didn't start to get sketchy until the last 10 minutes when she started shouting that she had poo poo.... in a very loud voice...over an over again.

She looks a little cross eyed here, but I love her pink hat, and the fact that she kept it on her head.

Life is always good when daddy is holding her.

I consider this a success. All 5 people looking at the same camera.

I wonder?

Often after spending a fun filled day with these three munchkins, I wonder what life would be like if I gave up the fast paced corporate world.

I wonder:
Would life be simpler?
Would I be picking up toys from morning till night?
Would I be better organized with labeled baskets?
Would I have richer interactions with the kids because we would have more one on one time?
Would I have more time for exercise? (I know that's a joke.....)
Would the house be tidy and the beds made?
Would I have time to make dinner and include the vegetables?
Would homework not be as hard because it would be done by 4pm?
Would I make cupcakes, just because I had time to?
Would I not be searching frantically for matching socks at 7:00AM?
Would I have time to wait for Orkin for two hours when a stupid rat dies in our attic...on a Wed.?
Would I have more friends because I have time to make deeper connections?
Would we have enough money for a Tuesday night dinner at a local Mexican restaurant?
Would I feel as rewarded as when I'm recognized for accomplishments at work?
Would I find it easy to re-enter the corporate world when I'm ready, or will I ever want to again?

And the biggest thing I wonder about is if when they are grown they will tell me they wished I stayed at home when they were little? And will I be crushed when they do?

I am an under no illusion that the stay at home route is much easier than a corporate life. Infact, I know that I would miss the days of a quiet lunch at my desk and the catered meals or the many fun interactions I have with coworkers.
But I have to wonder that the day to day needs of a household would be somewhat easier for me to accomplish, merely because I wouldn't be juggling a full time job.

I'm often asked by others how I manage it all. The simple answer is that every day I pick my priorities, and determine what I won't sacrifice.

I won't be leaving my full-time job any time soon, but every now and then, I just wonder if my daily list would not be as complicated to prioritize?

The Aftermath

If I could change one thing about the holidays, it would most definitely be the aftermath.

You know it's time to cleanup when you have to start looking behind toys to find your children.

In my attempt at procrastinating a little longer, Nathan and I watched an episode of Hoarders.
That's all I needed. One episode of Hoarders and one box of 56 extra large trashbags later we are back to normal....downstairs.

(I use the word normal loosely)

Now if  I could just find the energy to de-clutter the entire 2nd story we would be in great shape.

I guess I'll have to watch another episode of hoarders.......

Here's to a clutter free 2013! Happy New Year!







Before

After